On Vacation Together

Yes, we are on vacation together – you, H and I. It’s been planned for over a year, it was your mother’s idea. They rented the apartment next to our cottage here at the coast of the Baltic Sea. We’re sharing a home now, at least for 12 days.

At first I wasn’t too fond of the idea, still couldn’t deal with how you reacted to my last confession. And I wanted to avoid you as much as possible.

Recently things have changed again, however. It’s still mainly only a physical attraction, but it drives me crazy. Both in a good and a bad way. It was bad when we met 3 weeks ago for that big birthday party of your stepdad. I was so obsessed with getting your attention and showing off my female benefits while at the same time realizing that it’d be still absolutely pointless and destructive and unhealthy and wrong and (…fill in any other negative attribute…) that I got sad and more depressed than I already usually am due to my mental illness.

And now look at me: sharing this vacation time and place with you does all kinds of emotional things to me. I feel happy, lustful, disappointed and sad, all within hours mostly. But you know what? I don’t care. Not yet, at least.

I want to test the boundaries, test your reactions. As I am sure there is nothing to lose or gain from it as you’re definitely not interested, at least let me play around a little with you. I want to subtly flirt, ignite some sexual sparks. I want to be in your head next time you pleasure yourself, even if you don’t want it. I just want to have that little bit of power over you.

Or at least the illusion that I could have that type of power over you…

Let me have some fun.