You’ve Been Replaced

Time for another update on the whole matter: I don’t care about you anymore! You’re out of my heart, for good! I don’t have any bad feelings towards you either, or let’s just say: a lot less… It feels sooooo good. And I truly enjoyed the long stretch of time that I didn’t see you now. 2 months to be precise. Last time I saw you was on New Year’s. There had been plans for some more events in between then and now, but they each got cancelled for various reasons. And I simply didn’t give a damn! Yeah!

I am happy with H. I am in love with H. Besides, life is good overall.

When it comes to innocent fantasies and teenagey crushes, you’ve been replaced. This might sound odd. No matter how happy I am in a relationship, I tend to look for some random person to crush on. It’s usually someone really unattainable, like a famous person or someone I see on the bus almost every morning. I don’t know if that’s normal. Or if this happens to other people as well. I don’t find it strange or unacceptable even, as long as I don’t go all crazy and act upon it. But that’s often the crux, especially if that random person is at least somewhat attainable after all. To be honest, I’ve had my past stalkings of bus people (during my first marriage, which was broken anyway). And when this “random crush” involved you, things got too complicated because there actually seemed a high chance that this could become more than just a fantasy. So that messed me up.

However, it’s over. And now there’s a new crush. This time, unattainable again. He’s a somewhat famous person even though he has a rather small audience. I actually know where he lives; I know his real name (most know only his alias). But I’ll try to keep it innocent. Just fantasies. A few daydreams. Once in a while. For fun.

You’re out of the picture now. And it’s not only whenever he’s on my screen.

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